The benefit of hindsight is a beautiful thing but do we fully utilise our learned experience to write our future? If we knew then what we know now, would we have done it differently? Writing letters to our past and future selves teaches us from our own experience (which is the best kind) and helps to succinctly layout tomorrow’s goals.
The Benefit of Hindsight
Last night I was moved to dig up a letter that Hollywood screenwriter Aaron Sorkin wrote to his daughter the day after Donald Trump was elected President. I remember how I felt reading it at the time, although I haven’t read it since, but it stuck with me. Four years on, it was interesting to note how he reflected on that moment in time. The lessons he was learning so as to teach his daughter and how these would inform their actions going forward.
Conversations of Inspiration is a regular favourite podcast of mine having been recommended by a beloved Ride or Die, who also runs her own business. It is hosted by Holly Tucker, founder of NotOnTheHighStreet.com and Holly&Co. Each week, founders and entrepreneurs are interviewed to discover the highs and lows of building their business. At the end of each episode, they are invited to read out a letter they have written to their younger self. Often poignant, they always prompt me to reflect and learn something about my own life. Whether business is your bag or not, I do recommend giving them a listen.
How helpful would it have been to have your You Now re-assure, guide or perhaps warn your younger self of all that was still to come? Would a warning have prevented some valuable life lessons? Each to their own of course, which is what makes it so brilliant as an exercise. It’s your life. Reflecting back like this raises our self-awareness and can inform our future thinking and behaviour.
How do you start?
You can write a letter to your past or future self. There is benefit to both. In both cases, write from today and put a specific date in the past or the future. Specificity is the key to life.
Past Self
This is about looking back with the benefit of what you know now. What advice would you give?
If you face a big challenge, have you done something similar before that you can reflect on to learn from?
Here are some questions which might help focus your writing:
- If you could tell yourself just one thing, what would it be?
- What should you look out for?
- What would you tell yourself about the successes and how you dealt with them?
- Have people made your life easier or harder?
- What have been your top three learnings?
Having written it, it’s best to stick it in a plant pot or under the bed for a couple of days and then come back to it.
When you do, how much of that advice are you currently living? Could you follow it better? Can you start to implement lessons learned?
Future Self
Writing to your future self can be very helpful when it comes to goal setting. What do you want your Future You to be doing? This is often when I encourage my clients to push beyond that which they know is possible. The Dream Crazier mentality. Right now, looking too far in the future might seem overwhelming. The usual “where do you want to be in five years” is even harder to grapple with. Try one year from now.
Here are some questions which might help focus your writing:
- Who do you want to be?
- What do you want to have?
- Who do you want to be with?
- What do you want to surround you?
- Which skills do you want to develop?
- Which people are your priority?
As before, stick it in the plant pot (careful if it’s a watering day) and come back to it in a few days time.
When you read it back, reflect where you are at right now. Are you on track? What adjustments do you need to make to make this happen? What is the first thing you could do today to move you forward?
Success Leaves Clues
If writing to yourself seems too weird, write to a loved one, like Sorkin did. Sometimes it’s easier to action change for the ones we love before ourselves.
One thing I will say that this period in particular has taught me and those around me: don’t sweat the small stuff. Reflect, adjust and move forward.
Your lived experience is the best resource you have to write your tomorrow. Success leaves clues, and you can find them with focused reflection.
Very best,
Natalie
PS I share this with a genuine hope and desire that it could help you in the same way it helped me.
PP.S Sometimes we just need a simple boost to get back on track. The Friday Orange is my weekly email with 3 thoughts to amplify your purpose and performance. Sign up to The Friday Orange.
If you liked it and would like more help to make a change in an area of your life then drop me a line. I would love to talk to you.
