Practice gratitude. It will make you happier. This is not self-improvement baloney, it’s scientific fact. Just like your body, you can train your brain to default to happy. I started practicing because I was in a bad space and I wanted to feel better. Simple.
Protection instinct
Typically, our minds naturally fall to a negative bias. It is our protection instinct looking for danger:
♦ Don’t eat that, it might kill you
♦ Is there a saber-toothed tiger round the corner I may need to run from?
etc.
However, like the latest software update, we can totally re-wire our brains to think positively by practicing gratitude. There have been numerous studies* to prove that groups of people who proactively practice gratitude reported a higher quality of life.
Why did I start?
About three years ago, after a rocky break-up, I was hurting and the world seemed bleak. In an effort to pull myself out of the state I was in, each night I started to write down all the things I was grateful for from the day. They say time is a healer, but I wanted action. As with most things, it took work, practice and consistency.
Not every day can be the best day ever
Start with the smallest of things. I can’t tell you how many times I have written that I am grateful for my morning coffee, the bed I sleep in and the legs I stand up on. It might sound lame but it’s true.
Gratitude in the small things focuses the mind, whatever has or has not happened that day. Then I can go wild on the “I am so grateful I got a new deal done today!”
When I have had a particularly challenging day, I try to find reasons to be grateful for the lessons I have learned. Don’t get me wrong, sometimes I want to rant and swear and sob at the absolute crapness of it all, but the magic lies within the discipline of actually having to find the positive.
Gratitude marinating in your subconscious
Going to bed with everything I was grateful for that day as it marinated through my subconscious, meant that each day I woke up in a noticeably better mood. I started to see a real difference. I had gone from:
“No one will ever love me again”
to
“There is water in the jug and we can drink it? AWESOME!”
This then carries on through the day without you even trying. I distinctly remember having a”bad day” sitting in a “bad meeting” and spontaneously thinking this about the jug full of water. It actually made me laugh. It was like my brain was saving me from a bad mood. In normal waking hours, we start to default to a positive instead of a negative bias. You get genuine joy from the smallest of things.
Little dopamine or oxytocin hits throughout the day:
there is just enough milk left for one more coffee – YES
noticing that the person you are with looks happy – YES
How long does this take to work?
If you follow certain neuroscience rules, 21 days is a good amount of time to develop a new habit, although 66 days seems to be the sweet spot for lasting effect.
Everyone is different; consistency is the key. When I look back through my stack of journals now: the scruffy writing, the late-night overzealous use of !!! when I don’t have the words to express myself or the slightly drunk scrawl of a good night…I get to relive past moments of good stuff and it’s a comfort. Dopamine hits all over again.
As the effort and impact ratio goes, it’s low intensity for big results. So, practice gratitude. It will make you happier.
Very best,
Natalie
PS Don’t get frustrated. Stick with it. This is a compound process of incremental change but it does deliver significant results. I share this with a genuine hope and desire that it could help you in the same way it helped me.
If you would like to read some of the studies on the (wait for it….) Neuroplasticity of Gratitude, drop me a line and I will share links.
PP.S Sometimes we just need simple boost to get back on track. The Friday Orange is my weekly email with 3 thoughts to amplify your purpose and performance. Sign up to The Friday Orange.
If you liked it and would like more help to make a change in an area of your life then drop me a line. I would love to talk to you.
