I talk a lot. Let me re-phrase. I can talk, if talking is required. I am also fine with silence. It doesn’t make me particularly awkward. If you give me a room full of people, “working the room” is fine by me. Don’t be so quick to think it’s because I am hugely confident or the loudest person in the room. Far from it. To me, people are interesting. You never know who you might meet. People are like stars and if you look closely, they can form constellations. Everyone can see stars but you have to really look (and squint and tilt your head sometimes) to see constellations. But when you do, it can open up a world of opportunity.
I am struck by the amount of times I hear people say, I don’t like to talk on the phone. Or worse yet, I can’t, I just send an email. It’s happening everywhere and all too often.
The digital age has brought its own great opportunities, but has it also diminished the art of conversation? People broadcast thoughts on their platform of choice and wait for a response which they may or may not receive, much less engage with. Likes, comments, trolls or a simple emoji will do.
A conversation is dependent as much on listening and processing information as it is on talking.
Is there is a deficit of communication skills applied in the real working world? If you take the service industries of hospitality and retail alone, think of the amount of human interaction that takes place and could be improved. When you get good service, really good service that makes you stop and notice, it’s usually because someone has listened to your needs and delivered a simple human response. Un-robotic and genuine.
If more value was given to these skills, all too often taken for granted, it would lead to people being more successful and our businesses thriving.
It has been my experience that the world wants to define skills as technological, linguistic, numerical etc. That these are the ones that are held in the highest regard. What might be termed as “hard skills.”
So-called people skills are usually referred to as “soft skills”. “With excellent interpersonal skills”. It is shoved as filler on a CV like potato in a fish cake.
Soft paints a picture of easy – conflict resolution, network building, leadership, communication or diplomacy – they are not easy.
More respect and value should given to these so called soft skills. We would all benefit from a little more conflict resolution, clarity and human connection. That goes for business and all areas of our lives.
It’s not about being the loudest person in the room, the real power actually comes in listening to others.
Very best,
Natalie
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